growth Archives - Page 12 of 12

August 19, 2019

How Your Comfort Zone May Be Hurting You

There is a story in the New Testament about one of Jesus’ disciples named Peter who walked on water. As the story goes, the disciples were in a boat crossing the Sea of Galilee one night in high winds and rough waters. Jesus, who had stayed behind to dismiss a crowd and spend some time alone, came to them walking on the water. When they first saw him they were terrified, thinking it was a ghost. When Jesus reassured them he was not a ghost, and that it was he, Peter said, “Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water.” Jesus said, “Come.” So, Peter climbed out of the boat and walked on the surface of the water for a bit. That’s what I call getting out of your comfort zone!

When Your Comfort Zone Helps You

I wonder what might have been going on in Peter’s head during that conversation. Everything in him would have been telling him to stay in the boat. Sure the boat was in high winds and rough waters, but inside the boat was the safest place to be. In that moment the boat was his comfort zone. He was a fisherman who spent most of his career in a boat. Rough waters and high winds were nothing new to him. “Stay in the boat!” is what I’m sure that voice inside his head was screaming.

A comfort zone is defined as “a place or situation where one feels safe or at ease and without stress.” There is a part of us, sometimes called the “little voice inside our head,” that is very attuned to anything that threatens to disrupt our comfort zone. That’s what was screaming at Peter. When the things that threaten our comfort zone are dangerous, that little voice is very helpful. It keeps us from harm. Maybe you can remember a time, for example, when “something” told you not to do business with a certain person and you found out later they were a crook. Hooray little voice!

When Your Comfort Zone Hurts You

The problem with that little voice is that it’s programmed, not intelligent. By that I mean it reacts the same way to anything that might alter the status quo (comfort zone) whether the change would be good or bad. In the case of a challenge that might lead to great things, that little voice becomes an internal “saboteur,” that could destroy your future. It can’t tell the difference between good change and bad change.

Peter ignored his internal saboteur initially and got out of the boat. I say initially because the story continues. It goes on to say that when Peter saw what he was doing and then saw the waves, he began to sink and Jesus had to grab hold of him and pull him up to safety. We all know what happened. Peter was doing something extraordinary until he listened to his internal saboteur who said, “Look at the waves!” That’s when the extraordinary thing began to crumble.

The End of the Story

Now, let’s give credit where credit is due. Peter got out of the boat, which is more than many of us can say about the challenges or dreams we’re contemplating. What is your “little voice” saying to you about those challenges or dreams? “You’re not ready.” “You wouldn’t know what to do.” “You’ve got responsibilities.” “You can’t be serious.” Is your little voice helping or hurting? Only you can decide.

The twist to the Peter story is that the situation confronting Peter was, in fact, dangerous. In that case, his little voice was attempting to keep him from harm. Peter got out anyway. What he learned about himself and about his relationship with Jesus in those moments, could not have been learned any other way. What do we make of that?

Just after grabbing hold of him, the end of that story is Jesus saying to Peter, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” When it comes to the challenges or dreams you’re contemplating now, what will be the end of your story?

August 12, 2019

What’s in the Box?

We have four people in our house who will order something on Amazon or through some other online source from time to time. So, you never know when a box or package may show up on the porch. When you see a box on the porch and you’re not the one who ordered something, the response is almost always, “Ooh, what’s in the box?” You get really curios really fast.

Curiosity is defined as “A strong desire to know or learn something.” It is the driving force behind innovation and creativity. Some of the smartest and most influential people have had these things to say about curiosity.

“I have no special talent, I’m only passionately curious.” Albert Einstein

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” Albert Einstein

“The mind that opens to a new idea never returns to its original size.” Albert Einstein

“Creativity is Intelligence having fun.” Albert Einstein – Curiosity is the fuel of creativity

“Curiosity is the engine of achievement.” Sir Ken Robinson

“The most important thing a teacher can do for students is to keep their curiosity alive,” Ken Robinson. [see his TED talk on the subject. It’s the most watched TED talk of all time]

“The future belongs to the curious, the ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it, and turn it inside out.” Unkown

If all this is true, I wonder why more of us aren’t more curious.

August 5, 2019

Semper Gumby

Several years ago I worked with a team that adopted the slogan “Semper Gumby.” Borrowing the Latin word “Semper” from the U.S. Marine’s motto meaning “Always,” we added “Gumby” to fill out the meaning “Always Flexible.” The idea first came up as a joke after a client had asked for yet another change in the program of services this team was offering. We later came to realize that the nimble flexibility the team provided this client was precisely why they did business with them. They saw flexibility as a differentiating strength.

Making it Personal

The first year we lived in China, one of the veterans of overseas living said to me, “to be successful living in Asia, you have to be willing to live with ambiguity.” He was right. I learned that the more of my western expectations I was able to let go, the more I enjoyed the experience of living there and the more I learned. Put another way, the more flexible I was, the more I was able to grow. We saw some people who came to live and serve who lacked flexibility. Their brittleness quickly became brokenness.

Ambiguity and Flexibility are similar in meaning. Ambiguity means, “the quality of being open to more than one interpretation, inexactness. Flexibility means, “capable of bending easily without breaking; ready and able to change so as to adapt to different circumstances.”

Microsoft developed a list of education competencies, one of them is “Dealing with Ambiguity.” They define that as: “Can effectively cope with change; can shift gears comfortably; can decide and act without having the total picture; can comfortably handle risk and uncertainty.”

If you’re familiar with the “True Colors” personality types, the above definition sounds like an Orange through and through. Our youngest son is an Orange. Ambiguity is his friend. He just returned from a three week trip to Europe with two of his high school buddies. They planned the trip almost as they went. He loved it.

Only 27% of the global population are Orange. Well over half of us have a personality type that prefers a more steady, measured approach to life. We don’t necessarily welcome change as a friend. On the other hand, most of us would acknowledge there are things we would like to get better at. We would like to grow. There is a well-known saying, “if you’re not growing, you’re dying” that has a lot of truth to it. Jack Welch put it this way, “If the rate of change on the outside exceeds the rate of change on the inside, the end is near.”

What Can We Do?

When you get up in the morning, or when you’re about to do something strenuous, what do you do? You stretch. Stretching loosens your muscles so you can use them without damaging them because they become more flexible.

The same thing is true with our minds. We can stretch them to become more flexible which will allow for growth. One simple stretch exercise I’ve done with people involves a mug. I pick up a white mug that has a logo on one side. I show it to the person or group across from me and ask them to describe it. From their point of view it’s a white mug with a handle on the left. When they’re done describing it, I disagree with them and describe the mug from my perspective. I describe the logo and the fact that the handle is on the right. You get the idea. We’re both right, it’s a matter of point of view. To expand on this idea, try using your imagination to “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.” Imagine what it must be like to be (fill in the blank).

Stretching means getting out of our comfort zones. If you’re an analytical type, read some poetry. If you’re poetic, do some math!

In his book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, John C. Maxwell writes about “The Law of the Rubber Band – Growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be.”

Let’s stretch!