Performance Through People
Every Thursday for the last few months I’ve attended “Perk Up Thursdays.” It’s a networking group that is sponsored by the “Focus Suites,” a project of Southeast Community Colleges Entrepreneurship Center. It’s a great time and I’ve met some wonderful people. There is always a “spotlight speaker” at the event and last Thursday I got to be that person. Here’s a video of my presentation.
This beautiful 16th-century pen and ink drawing of hands clasped in prayer by Albrecht Dürer is reputed to be “the most widely reproduced depiction of prayer in the Western world, found on posters, coffee mugs, mobile phones, and has been used as album artwork. Justin Bieber has a reproduction of the image tattooed on his left leg.” (Wikipedia article) I’ve seen sculptures of this image in homes as well. Several years ago, though, I heard an incredibly sad comment about this image. The person said, “Beware the praying hands.”
My wife, Suzi, and I were having dinner with friends in Minnesota. The husband was a painting contractor and while we were talking about his business, he told me that comment was widely circulated among his peers in several different construction trades. He said that “Christians,” who are most often the ones who would have this image in their homes, were the worst customers. Pause and let that sink in. It made my heart sink when I heard it. He said they were the most likely to try to get a cheaper price, most likely to complain about everything, and (get this) the most likely to stiff them on the bill. WHAT!? That was his experience and it’s sad.
Lest we think his was an isolated situation, unfortunately, there is more. I have several stories similar to this one but I’ll share what I heard from my own niece and nephew who once worked as servers at a well-known restaurant. This was in another part of the country so we’re not just talking about people from Minnesota (my extended family lives in MN and there are many other wonderful people there).
My niece and nephew commented to Suzi and me that “Christians” were the worst customers (Hmm, a recurring theme). They told us that the after-church crowd on Sundays was the most disruptive, the most likely to ask for discounts, the most likely to complain, and the most likely (get ready for it) to stiff them on a tip. What in the world!? But the worst of all is the time when someone left what looked like a $20.00 bill folded on the table. When their colleague, who was not a Christian, picked up the “tip” it turned out to be a “gospel tract” inviting them to become a Christian. When you unfolded it, the words “Here’s your tip” were followed by the invitation. Really?
I’m not necessarily against leaving behind some helpful reading material. But, if you’re going to do that, then literally for God’s sake, you had better have been the best customer that server has ever had, you had better have made their day in some way through your interaction, and you had better have left a generous financial tip folded inside the reading material. There is a saying, “Empty bellies have no ears.”
Why would people who claim to be followers of Jesus behave this way? Jesus had thousands of people who followed him around to hang on his every word. They followed him around because he was generous, he healed people, he fed people, he spoke life into people, and I believe he had a winsome personality, especially with everyday folks.
Why, then, would those who follow him be “the worst customers?” I could be off base but here are two possible explanations:
Suzi and I were having dinner with a good size group of people at a burger and shake restaurant quite a few years ago (when $100 was a lot more money than it is today). Everyone in the group was a Christian. Our server came to take our order and it had some complications to it. We were ordering and having fun with her so, realizing we may have made it hard for her to get everything down correctly, we said, “If you get this order right, we’ll give you a $100 tip.” Once we said that, we knew we were going to give her the tip no matter what. But, guess what, she nailed it! We all but cheered for her and gave her high 5s.
When we left the restaurant, we stopped to watch through the front window. She went over to the table to see if we had kept our word. Some of her co-workers even went to the table with her. When she saw the $100 laying on the table, she grabbed it up and looked to see if any of us were still around. She saw us watching through the window and holding up the money mouthed, “Thank you!” We all smiled and gave her thumbs up.
We don’t always get it right, but that one was fun!
If you’re a follower of Jesus, live like you’re on stage all the time. I don’t mean act or be fake, I mean our lives are always on display. People watch and take note of how we behave. Be winsome, be generous (with resources and words), give, forgive, and speak life. There is enough around us that is negative. Let’s not feed that.
If you’re a business owner with a fish or a cross or praying hands in your logo or ad, make sure you’re striving to be the best in the business in all you do, with your employees, with your customers, and with your vendors. Don’t let people say of you, “beware the praying hands.” Jesus deserves the best representation we can give him. Make someone’s day!
I’ve talked about Myths, Mistakes, and FAQs regarding Employee Engagement. Here are 3 Keys to Engaging your people.
I was at the thrift store with Suzi the other day and I picked up a little hardback book that I just finished reading this morning. It was called The Deepest and Noblest Aspirations, The Wisdom of Ronald Reagan. I was partly nostalgic in picking it up because 1980, when he was first elected, was the first Presidential election when I was able to vote. Whether you agreed with him or not, it’s hard to argue his significance, especially when he won 49 states in the next election!
Also, here’s a quote from Barak Obama:
“Pride in our country, respect for our armed services, a healthy appreciation for the dangers beyond our borders, an insistence that there was no easy equivalence between East and West–in all this I had no quarrel with Reagan. And when the Berlin Wall came tumbling down, I had to give the old man his due, even if I never gave him my vote.”
The book is full of quotes under chapter titles like “On Sports, On Freedom, On Communism (the first three).” There is also one “On Leadership,” and, of course, one “On Humor.” Three specific quotes stood out to me in light of our times. Here they are:
On August 23, 1984, at the Republican National Convention, Reagan said,
“Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong.”
On January 16, 1984, during an address to the Nation from the White House, Reagan said,
“History teaches us that wars begin when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap.”
During his announcement of candidacy for U.S. President on November 13, 1979, Reagan said,
“A troubled and afflicted mankind looks to us, pleading for us to keep our rendezvous with destiny; that we will uphold the principles of self-reliance, self-discipline, morality, and above all, responsible liberty for every individual that we will become that shining city on a hill. They tell us we must learn to live with less, and teach our children that their lives will be less full and prosperous than ours have been; that the America of the coming years will be a place where–because of our past excesses–it will be impossible to dream and make those dreams come true. I don’t believe that. And, I don’t believe you do, either. That is why I’m seeking the presidency. I cannot and will not stand by and see this great country destroy itself. Our leaders attempt to blame their failures on circumstances beyond their control, on false estimates by unknown, unidentifiable, experts who re-write modern history in an attempt to convince us our high standard of living–the result of thrift and hard work–is somehow selfish extravagance which we must renounce as we join in sharing scarcity. I don’t agree that our nation must resign itself to inevitable decline, yielding it’s proud position to other hands. I am totally unwilling to see this country fail in its obligation to itself and to the other free peoples of the world.”
I know! A lot of people don’t like the word “boss.” They think it sounds … well … “bossy,” as in “bossing people around” and “you’re not the boss of me!” and “I’m the boss so you have to do what I say.” I didn’t use to like the word either until I discovered that it can be used as a term of endearment.
When I was the director of an international school in China, many of the local Chinese staff referred to me as “Laoban” (boss). When leading teams in certain parts of the US many of my Spanish-speaking teammates would call me “Jefe” (boss). Even some of my English-speaking teammates have straight-up called me “boss.” None of those was being used derogatorily, they were used with genuine affection. So, I came to accept the word “boss” and even began to appreciate it because of what my teammates were communicating when using it.
Over the last 15 years or so I have used a specific question when I interview people regardless of the organizational level for which they were a candidate. That question is,
“Could you tell me about your best boss?”
I learned a lot about a person from their answer to that question. I learned, for example, how they like to be managed. But, I also learned a lot about great leadership from those answers. There are some pretty good bosses out there. There are some bad ones, too (I also asked people to tell me about them). But the good ones have these two things in common.
If you lay those two qualities down on a grid with CONNECT as the horizontal axis and CHALLENGE as the vertical axis, that will give you a 4-quadrant matrix that describes what kind of boss you are. The best bosses are well into the upper right quadrant of that matrix which is called “The Engager.” They CONNECT and they CHALLENGE.
When Leaders are Engagers, they have those qualities people use to describe their best boss. Do you want to be the best boss your people have ever had? Reply “boss” in the comments to let me know you do.
I had breakfast the other day with an old friend I haven’t seen in 25 years. We spent two and a half hours catching up. It was fun! At one point he said, “I want to tell you a couple of wild things that have happened.” Who wouldn’t be curious about a statement like that? So, I said, “OK, go on.”
He is adopted. That’s important to the story. Someone in his family gave him one of those DNA tests as a gift. He turned it in and what he found out started quite a journey. Turns out he has a full sister who is a little older than him. Hold that thought. He also found his birth parents whom he has gone to meet. He said there pretty cool.
When he contacted his sister, she was excited and soon came to visit him. They’ve gone to see her childhood home together. Here’s the interesting part. When he was born, he found out, they reached out to his sister’s adoptive family to see if they wanted to adopt him, as well. They weren’t ready to take in another child at the time so they declined. He ended up in a wonderful home and he loves his parents with no regrets. As an adoptive parent myself, that was comforting to hear.
Here’s the real point of the story. After telling me all about this, my friend said, “You know, Jim, I’ve had the opportunity to look into two alternate universes where I might have grown up. Each of those hung on a yes or a no.” I think that is profound. His birth parents said, “No.” His sister’s adoptive family said, “No.” His adoptive family said, “Yes,” and that became his reality.
We’re faced with decisions every day. Some of them are potentially universe-altering with a simple yes or no. This makes me think of three things.
We never make decisions in a vacuum. Our choices affect not only our lives but also the lives of others around us and even descended from us. There is potential life-altering power in a simple yes or no. Wield it wisely.
Every decision is a yes to something and a no to something else. Don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis. Yes, be mindful, but make the choice. You may not have all the information or all the resources you’d like, but not making a decision is a decision. They say “fortune favors the bold.” Take action. Make the decision.
One thing that might help with being decisive is realizing that many decisions, not all but many, can be reversed by simply making another decision. You may not be able to completely reverse course, but you can alter the direction you’re going with a choice.
My friend’s “universe” was the result of decisions that were made for him when he was a baby. He didn’t have a choice. But, his very successful life has been the result of great choices he’s made along the way from that starting point. His was a happy beginning. Many aren’t. Regardless of the starting point, you can alter your universe with a simple yes or no.