We Have to Stretch to Grow

The thing about rubber bands is that they’re pretty much useless until they’ve been stretched. Every use I can think of for a rubber band requires that you stretch it first. This is why John Maxwell calls one of his laws of personal growth “The Law of the Rubber Band.” It says that “growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be.” You need to keep stretching. Another way of saying that came from Abraham Maslow who said, “If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy the rest of your life.”

Suzi and I were having lunch with some friends several years ago. The conversation turned to personal growth and one of our friends said, “If I have to experience pain in order to grow, then I’m happy where I am.” I’ll never forget that comment. It sounded like that person was aiming for mediocrity. Mediocrity is not a worthy goal. It’s like the cartoon I saw on a bulletin board. A football team was running off the field chanting “We’re number six!” One of the fans said to another in the stands, “I think they’re too easily satisfied!” It’s easy to be average.

Life Begins at the end of your comfort zone – Neale Donald Walsch

Your comfort zone is a dangerous place. It prevents you from improving, it stops you from achieving all the things you are capable of achieving and it makes you miserable. That’s a line from an article entitled, “Why Your Comfort Zone is the Most Dangerous Place on Earth.”

Your comfort zone is where you feel familiar and in control. It’s where you are not intimidated by challenges and don’t feel like something is at risk. But that’s exactly the problem. Risk and intimidating challenges are the stretching of the rubber band. Doug Larson said, “Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.” You have to get out of the boat if you’re going to walk on water.

Stretch Goals

Most of us set goals. Many organizations require you to set goals as part of your development plan and annual evaluation. We are most often asked to set “SMART” goals. Those are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant (or Realistic), Time bound. I love what Mark Murphy, CEO of Leadership IQ said in a white paper called, “Are SMART Goals Dumb?” He proposes H.A.R.D. goals. In his model the “D” stands for Difficult. It means, “I will have to learn new skills and leave my comfort zone to achieve my goal.” Now we’re talking about stretching. Rabbi Nehman asks, “If you won’t be better tomorrow than today, then what do you need tomorrow for?”

“Stretch Goals” are ambitious goals that challenge current assumptions and processes, and inspire teams (people) to re-imagine what they previously thought possible. You can stretch in two different directions. If you stretch vertically, for example, you are reaching for new heights in something you’ve already achieved. It may be a sales goal no one believes possible or putting a person on Mars.

You can also stretch horizontally. That means expanding your horizons to attempt something you’ve never done before. You may be dreaming of starting a business or launching a product line that seems outside your normal arena. Whether you stretch up or you stretch out, stretching is the key to growth.

Someone once said, “You are exactly where you should be in life given everything you have done to get here.” That may cause some of us to say, “ouch!” It’s true, though, and the question is, what will we do on purpose to become who we could be?

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